Coats

With arms extended,
I received it.
Took hold of it
As if it were my own.

And perhaps,
I am part to blame
For I gave no rejections.
My inclinations taken as
Invitations.

And I cannot blame
The ones who proceeded.
Heavy coats on my shoulders,
With joy and lightness,
They left.

And it will only be I,
That wanders the world
Arms heavy, shoulders burdened
Aging my countenance.

And I have no one to blame,
Nothing to give.
With a crucifix in hand,
I count my prayers,
With every tear,
Removing a coat of agony.

-Noemi Garcia Rigsby

Tempered

Small tears and wrinkles
On soft white sheets,
Cool winds threaten to break
What should be whole.

An endless assessment,
Shows that not everything is Ok
At least, not yet.

Defeat.
Again.
It's all we've ever known
With hearts that go down
With the latest grade,
Saying not quite,
Not quite,
Not quite yet.

Enoughs and Sufficiencies,
Always, just out of reach,
Revealing the small repairs
There as a reminder,
Of our humanity.

But I saw them marching.
Beauty.
In lifted heads and confidence.
Covered in sheets of white
With wrinkles and tears.

With tears in their eyes,
They looked towards the sun
Broken vessels of glass,
With every corner
Shining right back.

Their hands lifted,
Hearts golden,
Finding freedom
In the cracks.
Soft chants singing,
"Enough is enough,
 This is who we are."

-Noemi E. Garcia Rigsby

Ghost and Soul

Because my eyes fell empty
When I saw you escape from me
And now I see your shadow
Follow me home.

I am a hollow man,
Devoid of you.
But you circle me gently,
Hover over me while I sleep.

You wake me in sweats
And tears.
My bones screaming,
"Who are you now?"

Because I become someone different
Every day, someone new
Trying to replicate something
Since the moment I lost you.

You float so near to me,
But I can't catch you.
And I have no right,
Not until I know you,
Know you like you know me.

I can't have you,
Nor claim you,
As you will not have me
Until I can build inside
The home you like.

 -Noemi Garcia Rigsby

Cravings

Day 3,
White tubes with liquids
Coming in and coming out.
I stare into the ceiling
Where plaster plays with my eyes
Creating figurines of your face
Your hands,
Your eyes.

They pierce through me
Threatening lures,
Offering sustenance without substance
Inviting me to secret places,
Where we trade dignity for pleasure.

My body quivers at the thoughts,
Thin cotton covering my body
A steady note to remind me I'm alive,
And I need you.

Pale lips,
Sweat covering my brows,
Fingers twitch.
I romanticize our indiscretions,
Play fabricated scenes of a fancy future
When I know,
I know,
You will take my life to ruin.

But today, I don't know how to give  you up.

-Noemi E. Garcia Rigsby

Snakes and Graves

A pick and shovel.
Arms heavy.
Hands dirty.

I feel you at my feet,
Slowly creeping your way
Rough skin tightening,
Threatening.

Tranced and lured
By your dark green eyes,
I drank from your lips
With hunger and fervor.

One bite,
And I can feel it taking over
Toxins coursing inside
My death looming,
No matter how much I bleed out.


The hole gets deeper before me,
Darker as your arms embrace me,
Hands around my neck ,
Choking, suffocating,
While I delight in their touch.

A gradual, slow death
By choice.
Your whispers, sweet caresses
 Say cruel goodbyes.

With a tug, you let go.
Immobile limbs,
Eyes shut,
I feel the earth pour over my body,
But no one will count this murder
A suicide.

-Noemi Garcia Rigsby

Red Heaven

There are whispers in the night
About you, about me .
And I see myself dissipating,
My skin turning to mist.

Your arm over me like dew
Wet and warm,
But it can't hold me.

Creeping steps approach,
Two cold hands to lead me:
Out and Out.
Through and Through.

Gardens and paradise
If I'm right.
Fire and Flames
If we're wrong.

A suitcase full of bones,
And Questions.
Books of thoughts and poetry,
Longings of a legacy
Put together to remind you ,
"Who Are You?"

I left you there to wonder,
Until the day cold hands lead your way
If You were right,
Or we were wrong.
If I was right,
And we were wrong.

If we were right about everything
All along.

-Noemi Garcia Rigsby