Rising

You have no concern for me
I learned that the hard way
Today.

I refuse to yield,
To forgo myself for your pleas
I refuse to give,
More of myself for successes
That no longer apply to me.

Instead, I'll scream at the top of my lungs
This is me, not nameless, not faceless
This is me.

You can make us generalizations
But by blood we are bound
And we are one, and one, and one.
You can't escape the truth of what's been done

Whether allegiances are here or there
You had to choose
And no one is blind
Even you.

But I refuse to yield,
To give myself,
To surrender,
More of me

Because this is all I have
I am not nameless, I am not faceless
Look at me!
I am fearless, I am tameless
This is me.

-Noemi Garcia Rigsby

Good Luck

I have it in mind to tell it all
To tell you exactly how I want it to be.

Tell me,
When you moved toward the sunset
Without a single word,
Did you think of me?

You took it all,
Every single possession,
Every treasure from every room.

I woke up on the floor
Cold.
You took even the blankets,
though they still had the scent of our sleep.

Our bed was too small for me and you.
So you went, without a whisper
Without a sound.
And everyone still blames me.

My hands are empty, myself depleted
What I gave you was never enough
And as I watch you move farther towards the moon
I hope with spite, you'll never be a star.

When you thought I slept,
I took my chance
And clipped your wings instead.

And no, I won't apologize
Like you never will to me
All I can say is,

"Thank you"
and
"You're Welcome."

-Noemi Garcia Rigsby

False Pretemse

False Pretense- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


Oh, it's time to let it go

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, it was set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
Cu-cu-cu-cuz you know...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you'll learn again
Stop pretending don't deny
False pretense you'll learn again

All along you know you thought you got the best of me
You were wrong and I'm laughing right in your face
I cannot believe you claimed you were my family
Don't sweat it, it's set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
Cu-cu-cu-cuz you know...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you'll learn again
Stop pretending don't deny
False pretense you'll learn again

[Spoken:] guitar

Oh, it's time to let it go

I can't seem to understand it how you turned out to be so cold
You tried but were caught red handed, are you happy with your role?
It's funny to me how you've turned into such a joke...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you'll learn again
Stop pretending don't deny
False pretense you'll learn again

So play the game until you run out
And play the game into my hand

Today

I wish I could offer my forgiveness as easily as I release my love. I give my love & confidence to people so effortlessly. Yet, when my trust is broken, when I feel the injustice of their actions piercing, I can't let go. I want to so desperately let go and forgive. I don't want to carry the weight of anger and resentment. Everyday, I feel the heaviness of it all in my heart. I want to scream at the top of my lungs until it's all released, but I can't. So here it remains. I don't want to hurt people I love by screaming about it. I don't want bystanders, even if I was one.

God I beg you with my very depths, please help me to forgive and let go of this. Please release me from this somehow. Even if my mind says they are unworthy of it, help me! If your will is for me to remain silent yet again, help me. I will face this injustice how you fare me to my Lord. Vindicate me oh God, but I beg that when that day comes, I will not rejoice in it. I want nothing more than apathy.

I want to expel them from my life. I want to remove them from me, or remove myself from them as far as possible. I don't know if I can do this again God. I don't know if I can stand idly silent while they mar my name. I don't know if I can stay silent as they cover themselves with lies for their own selfish reasons. I don't know God, I don't know. Lord, I beg you to please help me. I just can't do this again. Lord, how will I face the people at my doorstep again with questions about the lies? How do I explain again? I cannot, cannot do it again. Please I beg, help me.

Dear Lord, help me to trust you. Help me to trust your love for me. I know you will vindicate me as you always have. Please help me until that day comes. Bring justice to my cause.

-Noemi